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Q. I have a problem and need real good advise and support Imy son has an ex-girlfriend and they broke up while child was 1 year during that time they went to welfare and he stated that he was the father and that he would pay child support during the court hearing it was told to son and Ex to verbally work out visitation they did she has full custody. all was well for one year and she stopped him from seeing child. new boyfriend, doesn't want my son to see ex-beau so he was denied for years like 5 years during this time we tried to see child but was told she did not want to see him cause he was the boogey man badman etc... in the first few years of dating while teens they had domestic violence and he went to jail and then agin while 21 they split since then he has gotten a good job pays child support and medical and also got his GED to better himslef and no other violance or criminal record since but his ex in the mean time I caught her and her family smoking Ice , the grandfather, her boyfriend and his mom and sister and a friend, so I turned them into CPS. Lot of good that did, they all went to a mediation and they were told to take first drug test on certain days well that I was not too keen on and I insisted on a random check, then they were causght twice testing positive and that they have to both get a GED, and a job, non was done no GED, No JOB while the entire family of his is on welfare....she managed to get pregnat again with now a handicapped child partially deaf etc... well Oh wait it gets better, her side of the family her father is having an incestous affair with his sister her aunt, gross they said they will not take child from her because they want to keep the family togehter well 2 years go by and guess what her boyfriend has now died in his sleep under hush hush cercumstances.,.,, so my son goes to see if he can have child now 6 on weekends or any time she says no her word is gold. so son goes to court to seek full custody because her now dead boyfriend kicks her and the kids out of the grandfathers house, so she moves into sisters welfare paid 2 bedroom apartment for her and lesbian lover and three kids of all differant fathers, now all living under one roof 5 kids and three adults all doing drugs... the whole building does it. so he goes in good faith and she admits to doing drugs and judge says she could lose custody on that note. judge orders mediation and house check to see how sone and his family now lives Oh son got married and new wife has two kids and also from a deadbeat ex thats a whole different story, and then he has another child together with new wife and have been happy now he wants to his 6 year old to live with them in his stable home, so at court the judge says to work out a verbal vistitation and come back in march in the meantime there will be investigations on home lives. Well unbeknown to son a worker-arbitrator called son and talk a while did back round check and found the domestic violence 6 years agao and say you have no chance in hell to get custody here is an in depth visitaion schedule tell the judge yopu reached an agreement son bewildered asks what about her and her drug use even til now well he cannot ask any questions dealing with that..ooh so he leaves comes home tells us the story of what happened and says that its not right so he immediately calls her up and say what if I get a lawyer you know what she said?? well as of now i am telling the judge you want to geta lawyer and I am noll and voiding the vistiation take your chances in the home visit and study and she hung up. Now what are we too do?? we cannot afford a lawyer because he is in a catch 22 too much for this one or 150 per hour to maybe get thru Is this fair? this is Hawaii I even as of this moment sent a copy of this and more to my Attorney General, Lt.Govenor and the govenor of this state and to all the state reps and congressman.

A. if the court had not ordered visitations than there are no crimes. once they are in writing & signed be the judge, it will become enforceable. make sure you get specific dates like odd years, like father gets kid every other weekend starting with the first one & so forth, if it only states every other weekend it is not enforceable.

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